If you’ve tuned in to any of the live streams, you know I have also been testing out a brand new song called “Permission” during this residency and I’m very excited to share that on Sunday I will be releasing a special recording of the song ON PATREON featuring guest vocals by Vienna Teng and MILCK! I got the very impractical idea to produce the song while in NYC, so I went to Hive Mind Recording in Brooklyn and laid down my piano and vocal, then got my musician friends from all over the country to send in parts, including a string quartet from Nashville TN! I can’t wait for you to hear it. Here’s a clip of the song from the moment I finished writing it, hours before I performed it at the first #ShowYourselfResidency.
A bit about the song - As a kid I rarely felt permission to take up space… with my body, my stories, or the sound of my voice. Movies and TV told me I was allowed to be a buddy, a punchline, or a decoration, but there was not enough space for me in the center of the room. I learned to shrink… my voice got quieter, my shoulders folded inward.
I wanted to be a singer for a long time, but my body was so terrified of making any noise, let alone the “wrong” noise, that my throat would literally constrict and physically block sound from coming out as a defense mechanism. My throat was so tight that my voice would crack when I tried to sing, flooding me with even more shame.
I often feel that my path as a singer (a label i still struggle with) has been less about learning new skills and vocal techniques and more about removing these emotional clogs living in my throat and letting the sound come out. I wrote this song for that kid, and anyone waiting for someone to give them permission to take up space.
You don’t have to wait for it to be given. You have permission.
Become a patreon member to hear the full song.